Irony

I was a shy thing in high school, especially with guys I was attracted to. Others, no prob. Talk, talk, talk. I'm sure that's true of many. In high school I crushed on one particular boy from 8th grade through senior year when I did finally land a good catch. I was not shy with him.

Anyway, the subject is Johnny. It is 50 years later and I'm in the gym before school, doing duty, when the football coach walks by. I stop him and let him know something wild is about to come out of my mouth. Couldn't help myself. I told him: "You are one good-looking dude." He laughed, hugged me, and said he needed that. Then I told him I went to high school with a guy with the same last name. Oh, ha, ha, he said, he's my dad!

So, see the irony? High school attraction, now attraction--no, I'm not attracted, just have good eyes which see really well. But, isn't it funny?

Wanna know how shy that guy is? He sent off for a mail-order bride from the Philippines. The son told me they had been married for 25 years. Just goes to show that love is not a requirement, although I'm sure they fell in love. I hope so.

My 50th class reunion

A couple of weeks ago my senior class, Woodlawn 1964, held its 50th reunion. I didn't go. I simply could not get up the energy to even want to go. At one point I did fill out the form of intent but could not mail it.

So why? I know a couple of reasons, or at least what I think are reasons, but I was never sure. That's why I'm writing this blog--to see if I can discover why I could not go.

Here's what I think:
1. I would have to go alone. In nearly every picture taken during the event each person had a "date" with him/her. I would have felt out of place.
2. This one comes on the heels of the one above. Sometimes I have panic attacks when in large crowds where I don't have a home base. As a loner, would a group of pairs have tolerated my joining them? At the first sign of rejection, I would have fled, as I have done many a time.
3. So many of my classmates have one spouse and claim happiness. I've had two disastrous marriages. I have no children or grandchildren on whom I dote. I totally feel the burden of my aloneness. I am happy not being married --actually, I'm happily divorced.
4. I have not enjoyed seeing what has happened to us. We are nearly all overweight. We're boomers! We should have kept up physically. What happened? Why did we let that dream die (of staying fit and trim).
5. I was not friends with most of the people on the planning committee. In fact, nothing was ever mentioned by or about my friends in high school. It would be those folks whom I would want to see. Otherwise, panic over the aloneness.

So, I think that's it. In these reasons is probably the truth or something imitating it.

Flawed people running for office

Our Founding Fathers (maybe with women behind the scenes) wanted an educated citizenry (at least men with land) to hold office, to serve the public good, to be citizen leaders. We've gone so far beyond that to become a country of office holders who serve their own private good. I'm suspicious of most who run for office. Too often they go in intending to serve and come out rich beyond their fellow citizens. It's too bad for them and more so for the rest of us.

But we're all flawed. In our current mayor's race  I'm left with almost no one to vote for. There are two viable candidates, both black, one male and one female. I received in the mail a flyer just days before the election, leaving almost no response time. It's about the woman, on the edge of calling her corrupt and incompetent. Supporters of the male candidate are the PAC behind this smear. Shameful.  

Last Saturday, another candidate hit the campaign trail at the local Farmer's Market. In his chat with me, he pointed out how another of the candidates had a melt-down at one campaign and has a history of mental breakdowns. In the middle of his pitch, he inserted this embarrassing information. I say embarrassing information because I mean it for him. I did not appreciate this campaign smear.

The most interesting piece of information is that many of the several candidates running for mayor chose no party affiliation. What are they saying? That they want nothing to do with either party? That they are afraid to declare a party because of the dirty deeds attributed to both or current officeholders?

What makes a person think she or he is capable of holding office? That takes a certain swagger, a lot of ego and self-confidence. Imagine holding yourself up to light and really seeing a person who can hold power, who can control events, who can handle a lot of taxpayer money?

What's up, Doc?

You know the old cartoons with Bugs Bunny rolling up to another character and asking--characteristically--"What's up, Doc?" He reminds me of my new principal, Ricky Carson, who hosted, emceed, --what word fits here?--our professional development day on Friday. Students were out, enjoying their first day of fall vacation. The staff was in, enjoying (more or less) their day of development.

I say "development" and mean it. I was inspired (not every minute because some minutes were devoted to less interesting topics). I was particularly inspired by the assistant principal's (the one in charge of discipline) promotion of the High Five. Now here is something new and I perked up. With High Five the teacher picks five students who are not particularly fond of school or its staff. It's a positive promotion thing: the teacher is kind and thoughtful and generous in spirit toward five generally "difficult" students with the idea of positive enhancement.

I knew immediately who my Number One would be (whose name I will hold secret here). Then I continued through my memory banks until I finished my list of five. The moment I turned it in to the assistant principal, I was committed. There's no turning back now. Besides, every child needs at least one adult to care, to actually show tenderness, respect, and loving kindness. I will be those things to five students until the end of next spring. Will it make a difference? We shall see.....

Teaching the gifted...

"Teaching the gifted..." appears to be the beginning of this blog. It is and it isn't. What do I mean? Let's see...whoa, I'm using a stall tactic. I teach all three grades, 6th, 7th, 8th, of middle school. That's six preparations each night!!-- two for each grade: one hour of English (grammar, spelling, vocabulary, punctuation, and the like) and one hour of reading: all things related to reading and writing. If I did a worthy job in preparing for each hour, I would spend six hours per night. I take up two or three papers per grade, so that's another two hours grading. The total: eight hours per night. I've done that a few times, but mostly, I spend about four hours each night and go to school feeling overwhelmed and under-prepared. The students can tell it, too (they're gifted that way).

Just recently, we had a heart-to-heart. I shared my doubts and stress; they shared their complaints about me. I'm a free person--I work on the edge of the box, just inside it, and even outside the box. Nearly all the students in this class wanted routine, organization, structure. Well, I've before taught a class of structured students. Usually, it's half and half. The next day I came to class prepared to be structured. I was, and it worked. Students were  lot more cooperative. I think their blood flowed better, knowing that they had an agenda. They knew exactly what we were going to do that class period. I'm thinking, yuk, I like surprises better. But they outnumber me, so I'm going with the flow--their flow. Everyone was more settled and calm. Amazing.

A lot to do about....

Once long ago, I was full of myself and had something to say about many things. Now I just come up empty. Getting old saddens me. Worse is whining and complaining about it. I heard an inspirational tape a few years back about the accomplishments of all these people in their 50's or mostly beyond. I need to hear it again.