Saturday, October 9, 2010

Where is the justice?

When I "retired" over seven years ago, I thought I would relax and do whatever I wanted. I have in some ways but have worked part-time as a children's librarian in a small Catholic school , now in my sixth year. What kind of retirement is that? I always tell the greeter at my local Wal-Mart: "Better watch out. I may get your job some day!"

As for blogging, when I began, I thought--At last a vehicle for my rants. Yet--look at the time between entries. It is now October 8 and I last published a blog on September 4. That's over a month ago!! I have not had anything to say--or say publicly--in a month.  I could continue to rant about this particular crazy woman, chronic liar, and general wacko I met on Amazon, but I won't. Said enough, didn't make any difference. I could rant about my mean-spirited great-niece who bites all the hands who feed her, but she's still just a child at twelve. Maybe she will learn kindness and fair play one day. I just hope it won't be too late. Or I could rant about--well, any number of things, but just don't have it in me.

What I will write about is the unfairness of life. Case in point: My sister and her husband--all those years ago--decided mutually that she would quit working at her job after she had children and be a stay-home mom. She loved it, threw herself over 100% into it, was gung-ho, finding things for them to do, places to go, activities for participation. She was one of those moms you always see around school, helping here, then there, always of great use.

Her husband is a control freak, my sister is an independent thinker--clashes began at once. He wanted the dishes arranged on the shelves in the cabinets in a certain way--What?! declared my sister. It's a kitchen, I'm a woman, now let me be! Nope, no deal. His way or well, no other way. Nothing on the cabinet tops, nothing on the walls, not one decorative thing, not even pictures of their children, nothing. One rare visitor (he didn't like to have company because he began drinking as soon as he hit the threshhold) asked where they had just moved from. His mother was a dirty housekeeper and clutter nut, so he allowed nothing to look like his childhood home. Thus the bare bones, unlived-in look.

His power of persuasion extended to his kids. They, too, came to believe that, since he worked and made the money, everything was his, not their mom's. In the current, ongoing divorce, they think it unfair that he is not getting everything. So, what kind of impression did she make on them? Neither child, both adults, one married with two children, respects their mother and are just as rude to her as the husband was. He is currently living with another woman, awaiting divorce to marry her. He never needed Viagra with my sister, but he does now. Guilt? Older body?

At least he moved on with his life and is not stuck in the past, harboring resentment. He was not generous in the settlement but agreed to more than I imagined possible. My sister is in poor health now, way overweight with bad knees, intestines, headaches, shortness of breath, chest pain, and heartache. The heartache is not from losing her husband--she was glad when he moved out a number of years ago, but from mistreatment by her family who are supposed to love and cherish her, especially now in her need.

I just wanted to write this, not that I have any great point to make. I don't. My life isn't much better, but at least I don't have to worry about mistreatment by people who are supposed to love me. (I don't have children.)

I will say that breaking the bonds of childhood, of home treatment, of parental influence are almost impossible....

1 comment:

mike draper said...

Very enjoyable blog. It's refreshing to see the struggles that a blogger has when it comes to allowing time for blogging.

A favorite souvenir

A favorite souvenir
These are my two girls from Ireland!

Judy's shared items

Books on my very ambitious TBR list (*denotes read)

  • *Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to our Children Will Change Their Lives Forever by Mem Fox
  • The Odd Women by George Gissing
  • The Zen of Fish by Trevor Corson
  • How to Get Your Child to Love Reading by Esme Raji Codell
  • The Cod Tale by Mark Kurlansky
  • In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden
  • *Joan of Arc by Mark Twain
  • Dag Hammarskjold by Elizabeth Rider Montgomery
  • The Wisdom in the Hebrew Alphabet by Rabbi Michael L. Munk
  • Children of Strangers by Lyle Saxon
  • Spiritual Writings by Flannery O'Connor
  • Nightmares and Visions: Flannery O'Connor and the Catholic Grotesque by Gilbert H. Muller
  • The Violent Bear It Away by Flannery O'Connor
  • Flannery O'Connor's South by Robert Coles
  • Wise Blood by Flannery O'Connor
  • Sylvanus Now by Donna Morrissey
  • *Vincent de Paul by Margaret Ann Hubbard
  • Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi
  • A Briefer History of Time by Stephen Hawking
  • The Library at Night by Alberto Manguel
  • Readicide by Kelly Gallagher
  • *Ruined by Paula Morris
  • Say You're Not One of Them by Uwem Akpan
  • Wandering Star by J.M.G. Le Clezio
  • Silence by Shusaku Endo
  • *The Assault by Harry Mulisch
  • Kari's Saga by Robert Jansson
  • *The German Mujahid by Boualem Sansal
  • Western Skies by Joseph Conrad
  • *The Giver by Lois Lowery
  • *Imperium by Ryszard Kapuscinski

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